I grew up in a small conservative town and didn't know anyone gay at school, so I met my first gay friends through social media. Here, in their own words, are three men's stories of their first queer friendships. Oftentimes, these people become de facto family, in place of those who can't or won't support properly. LGBTQ friendship comes in many forms, each one as real and urgent as the others. Whenever our paths cross now-most recently, on a dating app, because of course-I feel a pang of nostalgia for my awkward teenage self, as well as enormous gratitude that he was there. But I still remember clumsily coming out to him after a Le Tigre concert and him saying, 'I think I'm gay, too.' In the months that followed, we weren't always as kind to one another as we should have been, but we absolutely helped each other to accept our sexuality. I'm no longer close with my first gay friend, James, because we're very different people now. One's first LGBTQ friendship is often super-intense in fact, that person can become just as important as a first romantic partner. So when a gay man first bonds with someone else who identifies as gay or queer, it's inevitably a total lightning bolt moment.
At times, many gay men feel as though they're the only ones experiencing certain thoughts and feelings, ones that society still often deems abnormal. It's no secret that growing up gay can be a lonely experience.
